【why don't you?】思い切り泣いてみたらどう?Why Don't You... Have Yourself a Good Cry?



Why Don't You... 


思い切り泣いてみたらどう?

Have Yourself a Good Cry?



この間、ある失恋をした男の子からメールが来たの

長く付き合っていた彼女にふられそうって

彼女が新しい人と結婚しそうで、
そうなったら、明日から生きていけないっていい

その時は、時に身を任せて、
その苦悩で自分を向上させるチャンスよとアドバイスをしたけどね

分かるわよ。辛い気持ち

きっとそれまでは一体だったんだから

一体だった身体を切断するのは、物理的にも、精神的にも痛いのよ

わたしにも経験があるわ
まだ若かったけど、人生を捧げようと思った相手(今も、少しだけ若いわよ)

未来を捧げるつもりで異国に着いて行った相手に

「僕達は違う道を行くんだよ」って言われた時は、本当に心が張り裂けそうだった。

二人で何度も語りあって、夢みた未来も、乗り越えた苦難も、平和で幸せだった日常も、全てその言葉で消えてしまったんだから

正直1年は生きている気がしなかったわ

なにを言われても、叱られても、優しくされても、何も響かなかった

バスルームに篭る度、彼のメールをチェックしてしまう。辛いのに、さらに辛くなる


一人になると嗚咽は止まらないし、いつも泣きそう
目は充血して、本当にどうしていいか分からなかったわ


幸せだった時はどうやっても帰らなかったし、描いていた未来も、手に入らなかった

その時みた東京の景色のせいで、東京は孤独な街というレッテルを貼ってしまったくらい


弱みを見せるのが嫌いな私は誰にもこの辛さは話さなかったけど
色々起きた人生のマイナスの局面の中でも、ダントツに痛かった




まあ、きっとこんな経験は誰でもあるでしょ

もっと広い視野でみたら、タイミングがずれていたとか、運命じゃなかったとか、
釣り合ってなかったとか色々ある

クリシェのように、時は解決するし、あの時の悔しさが夢をつくり、
それが叶う時の感動こそは比べ物にならない

だからきっともっと素敵な未来に繋がっていることは確かだけど

あの時の、一番辛かった時の自分にいいたいのは、それでいいってことよ

思い切り泣いていいのよ
男だろうが
いい大人だろうが

泣きつかれた時に、次の目標を考え始めたらいいのよ

一度その感情を成仏させなさい
遅いけど、私は今になって成仏させているのよ今更だわね


ありきたりなことを言うようだけど
今辛いことがあったなら思い切り泣いてみたらどう?

The other day I received an email from a guy who had his heart broken.
It seems that his long time girlfriend dumped him.
She is about to marry her new boyfriend and if that happens, he said he won't be able to go on living.
My advice to him was that in times like these, "you should rely on the healing of time, that is your chance to improve yourself through your agony".
I could sympathize with his pain. I guess that they were one unit until then. 
Disconnecting a bond like that is painful, both physically and emotionally. I've experienced that myself. 
I was still young, but when I was told by my partner, who I was going to go through life with (who is still a little young even now) and for whom I had devoted my life and gone to a foreign country, that "we two are walking in different directions", I thought my heart would explode.
The future of which the two of us spoke over and over, which we dreamt about, the obstacles we overcame, the happy, easy going nature of our every day, all of that vanished with those few words.
To be honest, I didn't think I would live through the year.
No matter what I was told, how I was scolded, how I was comforted, nothing resonated with me.
I would shut myself in the bathroom and check his mail. Although it was already hard, it became even harder.
When I was alone I couldn't stop sobbing, I was always on the verge of tears, my eyes were always bloodshot; honestly, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. 
I couldn't do anything to go back to the happy past and I couldn't achieve the future I had envisioned.
Because of the views I saw of Tokyo at that time, I almost labeled Tokyo as a lonely city.
I dislike showing my weaknesses and so I didn't speak of my hardship to anyone, but I can tell you that that experience was more painful than many other negative events that happened in my life.
Well, I guess any one of us has gone through such an experience.
If I look at things in a wider respect, maybe the timing was wrong, maybe it wasn't meant by fate; there were just too many things that didn't fit.
Like the cliche goes, time heals all wounds and the disappointment of the time creates a dream and when that dream comes true, nothing quite compares.
Therefore, I am certain that a more wonderful future awaits and at that time, I wish I could go back to tell my suffering self that it will be alright.
It's OK to have a good cry, even if you're a man, even if you're a proper adult and when you've exhausted yourself crying, then it's time to start thinking of another goal.
Let those emotions die.
Although late, I have let them die now; better late than never.
I am saying something quite ordinary but if something hard has happened to you just recently, why don't you have yourself a good cry? 

MAHO JULIA TAKAISHI

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